Money, money, money.

December 31, 2011

My sister and my mother came to visit today. As soon as they got here they started talking about money. They want to help me get my financial things in order. The trouble is I don’t have all the bills I owe, because I threw them away thinking I’d be dead by now. I kept telling them I’ll ask for help when I get things figured out with the social worker, to which my sister answered: "You didn’t ask help before. Why should we trust you to ask now? We want to do something for you and financial help is all we know how to do right now." Like I now have an obligation to let them help me.

I know I sound ungrateful. And actually I am. I didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t ask to live in this world. It’s not that I want to see them sad, but I’d rather do that than keep pretending to be normal. I wish they’d forget that I exist.