Went to bed last night before 11pm. I didn’t hear or see any fireworks, which makes this New Years eve different from all the others. After the evening tea the nurses brought soda and chips and everyone gathered in the TV room. Everyone but me. I’m not into non-alcoholic parties. I’m not into parties in general. If a friend is having a party, I sometimes feel obligated to go, but I’d rather be drinking alone.

I only have a few friends. I’ve known them from secondary school. After them, I haven’t made any friends from the schools and workplaces I’ve been in. I think the reason, why I’ve kept in contact with those few people is that they like to drink heavily too. In my late teens and early twenties I thought drinking by yourself was embarrassing, so it was handy to have a few drinking buddies. Nowadays I don’t care.

It’s more than three weeks since I’ve been drunk. It’s weird how, despite drinking almost everyday for at last two years, I didn’t get any physical withdrawal symptoms when I quit and I only get occasionally cravings. I guess I’m not tempted so much, because I know I don’t have a chance of getting drunk without getting caught, so it’s not worth thinking about. If I’d have an opportunity to get drunk, I wouldn’t think twice about it.